1 – The Bone Collector

Denzel Washington stars as a quadraplegic policeman with astounding intuitive skills who teams up with novice cop Angelina Jolie to catch a particularly nasty serial killer. You probably saw this movie before, when it was called Seven. So who is this Bone Collector? Well, the killer, for some reason, cuts off a piece of his victim’s flesh, all the way down to the bone, then takes some of that as well. Creepy, huh? Yes, not exactly the movie you want to talk about over dinner, which again is a lot like Seven.

Now that we’ve established that children, people with weak hearts, and pregnant women probably should never see this movie, let’s get to the nitty gritty. What’s in it for you? If you’re into movies like Seven, I’d say this is worth a rent – but you have to have the stomach for a lurid atmosphere, and you can’t be in the mood for highbrow entertainment. If this is your bag, ignore the plot loopholes and enjoy. And also remember it could have been worse; you could have gone to the theater to see it!

Washington is solid, of course, but there’s a downside. All of you Denzel fans out there must have perked up when you knew he had a movie coming out, then were suitably depressed when you learned he’s crippled. How are we going to see Denzel catch the bad guy and save the city from evil? By watching Jolie at work, that’s how. The Oscar-nominated Jolie (for Girl, Interrupted) has a meaty role here, but it’s one Ashley Judd’s done before – and better. And don’t get me started on the whole second half of the movie! Let’s just say that the first half keeps you real interested, but then the movie falls back into a familiar pattern, which you’ll likely recognize early enough.

PRO: Denzel Washington. Handicapped or not, he’s Denzel.

CON: Denzel. C’mon, who wants to see Denzel Washington in a bed for nearly 2 hours? (That’s a rhetorical question.) Plus a crappy ending. Plus a lack of chemistry between Washington and Jolie.

The Bone Collector: 7 (out of 10)